Peanut Butter Panic

More drama! As if we did not already have enough with the flu season, now we have widespread peanut butter panic. The day the news story aired, we had our share. They came in groups, they came in droves, they called on the phone. Everyone wanted to know what they "should do" because they had eaten from jars of the offending lot numbers. No matter that they had no symptoms, had had no symptoms and had eaten half the jar in the past two weeks. One guy showed up in triage trying to gag himself to make himself vomit. Another guy brought himself, his wife and two kids, all of whom had been on a PB&J binge. No one sick of course, but dad had made sure to contact his attorney who advised him to be sure not to throw the jar away and to come immediately to the ED. The goal was to "collect evidence" in the form of stool samples to be analyzed for the dreaded salmonella. Somehow the triage nurse kept a straight face while she explained that there would be an extended wait, even for fast track. The hopeful father retreated to the lobby with his soon to be wealthy family, where they dined on McDonald's whilst awaiting the attention of a highly trained and educated health professional.....only in America.